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Joshua Smith

Is Your Home Ready For Love?

Rear view of a female holding a fan of swatches and deciding a colour

There are so many things to consider when attracting an ideal romantic partner, but here’s one you might not think about: What does your home say about your readiness for love?

Ten years ago, I made a list of all the traits that I wanted in an ideal partner. As I read my list to a friend, he turned to me and said, “Are you all of those things?” I shook my head and sadly replied, “No.” In that moment, something clicked. How could I expect to attract a mate with those qualities when I myself did not possess them? I needed to spend less time searching for the right partner, and more time becoming the right partner.

We work on our minds, we improve our bodies, and we deepen our connection to our souls. But it’s not uncommon that we neglect the environment in which we live — our home. Our homes are more than just shelter, they are a reflection of who we are and the way in which we live. If your home is a mess, then chances are your life is a bit of a mess, too.

Do you enjoy nesting at home? Would you feel comfortable if an unexpected visitor stopped by? Are you still waiting for the “right time” to finish decorating? Do you have a cluttered space with closets jam-packed with needless junk? Before you start fantasizing about Mr. Right walking into your life, first consider if you are ready for him when he arrives.

Here are four simple ways to prepare your home for love.

  1. Create a Space You Love

When we create spaces that we love to come home to, we are automatically lifted and restored when we walk through the door. Think about how you feel when you put on your favorite pair of jeans. You feel comfortable and confident. The same is true for our homes — this revitalizing energy makes us more attractive. Take time to make a list of all the things that you love, such as your favorite colors, patterns, and textures. Include the periods and styles of furnishings that you’re most drawn to. Reflect on the artwork that speaks to you, the travel mementos you’ve collected, or your favorite photographs. Surrounding yourself with things that you love is an essential ingredient to creating an inspiring home.

  1. Feather your Nest

If you need a little science to back this up, consider birds, for instance. Before starting a family, they must prepare their nest. This is a symbolic process — it shows the universe that you are ready for love. Not only do you want to create a beautiful home, you want one that is warm, comfortable, and inviting to those who enter your life. To do this, consider the ways you can engage all of the senses: Sight, a beautiful lamp; Smell, a favorite scented candle; Taste, a delicious cup of tea; Touch, a soft cashmere throw; Sound, create a playlist of your favorite songs. By completing your nest, you can relax in that space, knowing you are prepared for love to arrive.

   3.  Organize and Keep Tidy

Pick up your panties. Just kidding. But in all seriousness, if you can’t take care of a home, you will likely have trouble taking care of your relationship. If you struggle to keep it together on your own, imagine the additional chaos once there are two under one roof. So first, get rid of the clutter. In doing this, you not only create more physical space, but you create energetic space as well. Next, establish some organization and develop the habit of returning things to their place after using them. Finally, make an effort to keep your space clean throughout the week and save yourself the headache later on.

  1. Party of 2

The concept of planning for two is good advice inspired by Feng Shui, the Chinese practice of balancing the energy of one’s home. You can create the space for love to reside by thinking in pairs. For example, I presented a nightstand option to a client and his response was, “Great, let’s order one.” With a grin, I asked him where the future boyfriend would set his things at nighttime. Needless to say, we ordered two. Other suggestions include leaving empty hanging space in your closet, throwing in a splash of pink, letting in fresh air, displaying newly-picked flowers, or lighting a candle daily to promote that inviting, loving energy into your life.

If you start taking care of your home, you will quickly see order and balance spill into the rest of your life. By committing to making changes, you will soon create a home that you can fully embrace — a place that you want to share, a home that is ready for love.

Note: updated version of a post as featured on Huffington Post


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  1. So true ! It’s hard to find love if you or your home are not centered. I loved this post.